I was reading a book called “Exposing the MYTHS of parenthood” by David Jeremiah (Page181-184). This is an extract from this book and I would like to share it for those who don’t have a chance to read it.
How do we really love our kids?
What do our kids really need? They want to feel loved
How do we let them know we love them? In the only laboratory I know, my home, I’ve learned ten necessary ingredients which say those important three words in daily living.
· We love them by establishing boundaries for their lives. Dr. Joyce Brothers wrote; strictness has been considered an old-fashioned method of parenting, but it may be coming back into style. A recent study of almost 2,000 fifth and sixth graders- some of whom had been reared by strict parent, other by permissive ones- produced some surprising results. The children who had been strictly disciplined possessed high self-esteem and were high achievers; socially and academically… what these children said revealed that they were actually happier than the undisciplined children. They loved the adults who made and enforced the rules they lived by”
· We love them by enjoying them (laugh more)
· We love our kids by exposing our humanness to them: some kids have grown up in Christian hoes thinking their parents don’t make mistakes. We need to let them know we’re human. Say “ I am sorry” when you make a mistakes.
· We love our children by explaining our reasons for decisions: many of you may have grown up in a home where you were told, “we don’t have to explain to you; we are telling you. You do it because we said so. “it’s true, as parents we do have that right, but if we do that often we leave a root of bitterness that grows and may become a rebellious heart.
· We love our kids by exchanging ideas with them; Teenagers have a bizarre way of trying to communicate. Sometime we think they are speaking another language- one we need to go to linguistics school to understand. However, it’s crucial that we listen and exchange ideas with them when they are available.
· We love our kids by encouraging them; kids are so concerned about being accepted by their peers that they fail to recognize their own potential. When we see our emerging adults struggling with self-esteem, we need to be their greatest fans. They need every boost we can give them. Encouragement is the nutrition our spirits thrive on.
· We love them by expanding their horizons: our children’s dreams are so important. Encouragement is vital during times of defeat, but we need t help them look beyond today to their promise of future accomplishments. Expanding horizons is not just exposing them to travel or music or art, but giving them visions of where they might go or be if they head in the right direction.
· We love them by expressing physically what we feel in our hearts: I’ve found that the hardest time to hug a daughter is when she is a teenager. When she is a cute baby or a little girl, it’s easy, but when she begins to emerge as a young woman there is a certain reticence which builds. However, it is then that she needs her had the most. A headline in a San Antonio paper announced that “ four hugs a day chase blues away”
· We love our kids by examining our own lives regularly; one of the best things I can do for our kids is to love my wife and keep my life clean before the Lord. The picture of life our children see is the one we present to them. We have such a short time to influence and help mold them in to men and women of God.
· We love our kids by exercising great patience with them
